Another trip around the sun

 

Wassup Wassup, how are you all doing? It is so difficult to believe that today is the last day in 2020 (It feels like we went through 2 years in one right!!). Every one of us has had our share of 2020, we all experienced the turmoil, the anxiety, the fear, and for some of us grave loss. 

I started out this year with so much anxiety and fear. Will I ever get into medical school? Am I the weak link in my lab? Will I die alone? All these thoughts went through my mind at least once and then became more pronounced during the COVID-19 lockdown. Looking back now the main driver behind these fears was that I felt 'Alone', I felt that it was up to me to determine my fate, I had a crisis of faith where I questioned it all. During this crisis of faith, I saw so many others gain their faith and I realized that my problem was I was trying so hard to do God's job because I didn't trust God to do it for me. 

I felt I had to help God along, at least the bible says faith without works is dead but we have to realize when we are doing all the work because we have no faith and when we are doing the work as evidence of our faith (Preach 😂😂). This lack of trust in God cost me an extra $400 applying for schools I had no desire to go to, apart from the money (Adulthood 101) it cost me a lot of man-hours and late nights as I tried to balance these extra applications with my obligations at work which made me feel like I was not doing enough on either front, thus leading to impromptu tears 😭, constant migraine and an extra bout of anxiety. Trying to do God's work will only stress you more. 

All these while, I imagine God staring at me like 'Girl what are you doing to yourself, let go and let me' but as per a coconut headed somebody that I am, I kept stretching myself too thin. One day while taking a walk to clear my already muddled mind, I broke down and started praying (well more like talking and complaining) to God, and at that moment, I realized how powerless I truly was and truly let go (very hesitantly). Once I did, I began to delight more in the moments, living each day at a time and worrying less about what I really had no control over.

I have no idea what 2021 will bring, it might be the light at the end of 2020's tunnel or it might be a deeper rabbit hole than 2020 but regardless of what 2021 will be, I choose to let God lead the way (He is more than capable to do that) and all I plan to do is to walk in my faith not out of it. 

Happy New Year all 

When It Rains, It Pours

 

Heyyyy, how you doing 'Wendy William's Voice'. Welcome back to our habitual readers and welcome to our new and hopefully habitual readers in training 🍷.

I usher you into PART II of "Serifat's COVID-19 Adventures"

It has been so long and we have been through so much since last we spoke. We have all pushed through and are still trying to push through a pandemic, some of us have had to deal with political tensions back home (Nigeria, Guinea, Namibia, South Africa, Congo), some have lost family, some have lost friends. Through this experience, I have come to understand how fragile life can be and that at the end it all boils down to how many lives we have touched.

At the beginning of this year, I spoke about my passion and dream of becoming a doctor and the hurdles that I have faced especially the MCAT (inserts flashback and panic attack), well I am here to tell you that "Won't God do it!!). On the 24th of November, I received an email that said

"Dear Serifat,

Congratulations, you have been accepted "

It took a few seconds for me to realize what this meant but the moment I did, I bust into praise because all it took to get here was an extra gap year, 3 MCAT exams and 26 resounding NO'S!! I dare say it took blood 💔and tears💧from me but right when I felt the most helpless, God positioned me for great mentorship, great friendship, and just a wonderful church support.

When I started this journey, I felt that "I can do bad all by myself 😎" completely forgetting that I did not get to where I was alone. It took several bouts of failure for me to realize that I needed help but one thing to note is this; the moment I decided to seek out help and the proper resources, several doors began to open. This is to say that sometimes all it takes for us to move from mediocre to excellence is that one step; Taking that one job, starting that one business, making that one investment, taking that one class, making that one phone call or even as simple as saying that one prayer.

So just like the title of today's talk says "When it rains, it pours", I still have a few interviews lined up and God willing more to come before I get to make a final decision on where I will be spending the rest of my Twenty's.

I leave you with this bible verse that helped me through my anxiety throughout the month of November (Shout out to PWAL) 😀

" being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians1:6

This story is a testament that you can do anything but most importantly it is a testimony to the power of God. I was asked last week "How were you able to keep going", well I can with the utmost confidence tell you that I DO NOT KNOW. The one thing I do know is that I held on to this dream even when I could not see a way, I held on. 

On a lighter note, I am curious to learn from you about how you have been coping with COVID-19, I definitely added those COVID pounds and I have become more anal about hygiene. Feel free to share in the comments, I just might pick up a new hobby or lifestyle trend from you.

Till next week (Yes, I won't miss our date 😉)

Here Lies My Passion

So, my passion has always been traveling. Right from little, I imagined myself visiting new places for the sights and people. One event comes to mind, at the age of six, I found out my favorite teacher Miss Afolabi was going to her state [Ekiti] for a burial and guess who convinced her mum with tears to let her tag along, well MOI and I think my experience then was what let the travel bug bite me.
The sad thing is that as much as I love to travel, I have not been able to fully spread my wings and touch every continent due to various constraints such as lack of time, lack of finances, you know all that good stuff adulthood brings your way. Yet, each year I still include traveling on my to-do list.
Why? 
Because although it might not have happened yet, I strongly believe it will happen so I might as well prepare for it even if it looks like it is unrealistic NOW. 
Why am I talking about my passion for travel? Well we all have passions and just like my passion for traveling sometimes it feels invalid, so I am here to remind you that:
Your passion is valid, Let me repeat that
YOUR PASSION IS VALID
Well, traveling is not my only passion so let's try a more relatable example, shall we? Kindly take note that this is a battle, I am still working through so I don't have all the solutions but I will share what steps I have been taking. 
Anyone in my family or my circle of friends will tell you that my greatest passion in life is being a doctor not because I want the extra title but because I have seen a lot of people disappointed in the health care system and I want to be among those who will restore their faith in the system.
Despite my pinning for this goal, one thing has stood in my way twice now and it is an exam called the MCAT (CRY). Twice, I have tried, and twice I have not been my best because I refuse to use the word failed. Each time after seeing my result, I have broken down in uncontrollable tears, gone days thinking I am not enough and on other days I was ready to throw in the towel
Funny enough till this moment that I am typing, I still have not thrown in the towel in fact, I have gone harder.
So do I know how it feels to have a passion? Yes. Do I know how it feels to be shot down time and time again? Yes. Most importantly I know about that fire in your belly that refuses to burn out.
Life might make it look impossible but that should not stop you from dreaming, it should not stop you from talking about it, it should not stop you from planning towards it, and it definitely should not stop it from being your passion.
Like the good book says in Habakkuk 2:3 “For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end, it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. “
This verse has carried me through the bumpy roads that lead to medical school
I hope that I have been able to rekindle that fire in your belly and that I have provided you with that little push you needed. 

Everyone but Me!!!

 Hi guys, welcome to another week. I am so excited to share this as I believe it is the reality of most if not all of us, although we try to deny it or even ignore it till it goes away. 

So, this past year, a lot of my personal friends got engaged, married and some found a forever boo YIPEE!!! Yet as happy as I was for them, they were times when I thought when will mine happen? I had even gotten to a point where I had convinced myself that I did not desire companionship in any way, shape or form. I began to use the failures of my past relationship as a valid reason why I should give up all fantasy about love but despite all the tactics I used I still desired to be a part of that lovely companionship I saw my friends buy into. 

Once I discovered that this desire was not going anywhere, I decided to prepare. 

What do I know I am preparing for? how do you prepare? Well, these questions also crossed my mind but then I remembered that If you fail to plan then you plan to fail. 

I decided to get myself in position by preparing and what better way to prepare than, to begin with, prayers. I spoke to God about my desire and let him know what I wanted 

Like 6 ft tall, black chocolate, pink lips, sense of humor 😂😂 just joking (although I would not mind). I spoke to God about the things I desired in a partner that aligned with my values (spiritual, personal and emotional) and after this, I had to have a candid conversation with myself. I asked myself “if this man showed up at my doorstep right now, will I be ready?” Brethren the answer was a resounding NO, and this helped me identify areas in my life that I needed to work on to ensure that I do not end up shortchanging future bae. 

How does this apply to me, I don’t care for marriage, I am already married, I am engaged? You might ask. Well, this drawn-out scenario does not only apply to one’s desire for a relationship, but it also applies to our desires in general. 

Ask yourself honestly, if those things you are desperately looking forward to appears at your doorstep now will you be ready? If your answer is NO like mine was, probe further and discover why. Is it a character flaw that needs to be checked, Is it a manner of approach that needs to be redesigned, is it courses you need to take to make you more competitive, is it your companions you need to change, whatever it might be, Identification is the first step. 

Once you can identify it, you can begin working on it thus preparing yourself better for that blessing. Most importantly, as you prepare for whatever you desire do not make the mistake of taking out the GOD factor, the bible says “I planted the seed in your hearts, Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow” 1 Corinthians 3:6 (NLT)

So, you can prepare as much as you can but the only way to get the best not just an ordinary blessing is by placing it in the hands of God. 

Till we see again 

REFLECTIONS

Photo by @sericoco_s.blog

December 🎄has always been a time of reflection for me, a moment to take in the past eleven months and evaluate all my actions and inactions, my highs and my lows and most importantly a moment to lay out what I could do better. This is not always an easy thing to do because sometimes, the lady that stares back at me has not been the best she could have been and facing that truth is what determines if I will grow or not.
Reflecting on the past eleven months of 2018, ushers in a whole lot of emotions. The past months have been teaching moments, I have learnt a few things about myself as an individual. Some, I am extremely proud of but others make me hang my head in shame. Yet, there was one key factor that pulled me through and it was the reminder that my circumstances do not define me.
I will like to dedicate this post to the better me I know I can be, and also to the better you that I know you can be. Do not be ashamed to stare back at yourself, do not let those mistakes no matter how grievous limit you, and never let go of faith that is the one key factor that I know has helped me over the past twenty - something years of my life 😉😉.
Reflecting also brings to my notice the things I am yet to achieve, just like me, a lot of us we stepped into the year 2018 with a list of desires even if some of us especially me never made a new year resolution 😶 and looking back now we find that we were unable to tick off all on our 2018 want list. I encourage you to not be devastated because if you truly look back in an in-depth manner you will discover there were also a lot of things you did not plan for but they made your year 2018 great. All in all people like a great saying says "Never let the success get to your head, and never let the failures get to your heart"
Another beautiful thing about December is that it is a time for me to not only reflect but a time to be grateful like the Good Book says " Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus" - 1 Thessalonians 5:18