Another trip around the sun

 

Wassup Wassup, how are you all doing? It is so difficult to believe that today is the last day in 2020 (It feels like we went through 2 years in one right!!). Every one of us has had our share of 2020, we all experienced the turmoil, the anxiety, the fear, and for some of us grave loss. 

I started out this year with so much anxiety and fear. Will I ever get into medical school? Am I the weak link in my lab? Will I die alone? All these thoughts went through my mind at least once and then became more pronounced during the COVID-19 lockdown. Looking back now the main driver behind these fears was that I felt 'Alone', I felt that it was up to me to determine my fate, I had a crisis of faith where I questioned it all. During this crisis of faith, I saw so many others gain their faith and I realized that my problem was I was trying so hard to do God's job because I didn't trust God to do it for me. 

I felt I had to help God along, at least the bible says faith without works is dead but we have to realize when we are doing all the work because we have no faith and when we are doing the work as evidence of our faith (Preach 😂😂). This lack of trust in God cost me an extra $400 applying for schools I had no desire to go to, apart from the money (Adulthood 101) it cost me a lot of man-hours and late nights as I tried to balance these extra applications with my obligations at work which made me feel like I was not doing enough on either front, thus leading to impromptu tears 😭, constant migraine and an extra bout of anxiety. Trying to do God's work will only stress you more. 

All these while, I imagine God staring at me like 'Girl what are you doing to yourself, let go and let me' but as per a coconut headed somebody that I am, I kept stretching myself too thin. One day while taking a walk to clear my already muddled mind, I broke down and started praying (well more like talking and complaining) to God, and at that moment, I realized how powerless I truly was and truly let go (very hesitantly). Once I did, I began to delight more in the moments, living each day at a time and worrying less about what I really had no control over.

I have no idea what 2021 will bring, it might be the light at the end of 2020's tunnel or it might be a deeper rabbit hole than 2020 but regardless of what 2021 will be, I choose to let God lead the way (He is more than capable to do that) and all I plan to do is to walk in my faith not out of it. 

Happy New Year all 

When It Rains, It Pours

 

Heyyyy, how you doing 'Wendy William's Voice'. Welcome back to our habitual readers and welcome to our new and hopefully habitual readers in training 🍷.

I usher you into PART II of "Serifat's COVID-19 Adventures"

It has been so long and we have been through so much since last we spoke. We have all pushed through and are still trying to push through a pandemic, some of us have had to deal with political tensions back home (Nigeria, Guinea, Namibia, South Africa, Congo), some have lost family, some have lost friends. Through this experience, I have come to understand how fragile life can be and that at the end it all boils down to how many lives we have touched.

At the beginning of this year, I spoke about my passion and dream of becoming a doctor and the hurdles that I have faced especially the MCAT (inserts flashback and panic attack), well I am here to tell you that "Won't God do it!!). On the 24th of November, I received an email that said

"Dear Serifat,

Congratulations, you have been accepted "

It took a few seconds for me to realize what this meant but the moment I did, I bust into praise because all it took to get here was an extra gap year, 3 MCAT exams and 26 resounding NO'S!! I dare say it took blood 💔and tears💧from me but right when I felt the most helpless, God positioned me for great mentorship, great friendship, and just a wonderful church support.

When I started this journey, I felt that "I can do bad all by myself 😎" completely forgetting that I did not get to where I was alone. It took several bouts of failure for me to realize that I needed help but one thing to note is this; the moment I decided to seek out help and the proper resources, several doors began to open. This is to say that sometimes all it takes for us to move from mediocre to excellence is that one step; Taking that one job, starting that one business, making that one investment, taking that one class, making that one phone call or even as simple as saying that one prayer.

So just like the title of today's talk says "When it rains, it pours", I still have a few interviews lined up and God willing more to come before I get to make a final decision on where I will be spending the rest of my Twenty's.

I leave you with this bible verse that helped me through my anxiety throughout the month of November (Shout out to PWAL) 😀

" being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians1:6

This story is a testament that you can do anything but most importantly it is a testimony to the power of God. I was asked last week "How were you able to keep going", well I can with the utmost confidence tell you that I DO NOT KNOW. The one thing I do know is that I held on to this dream even when I could not see a way, I held on. 

On a lighter note, I am curious to learn from you about how you have been coping with COVID-19, I definitely added those COVID pounds and I have become more anal about hygiene. Feel free to share in the comments, I just might pick up a new hobby or lifestyle trend from you.

Till next week (Yes, I won't miss our date 😉)

Swipe Right to Date

 

LEON NEAL/GETTY IMAGES

 

The beauty of technology is that everything is at your fingertips, from food to games to maps and even love ❤️ or so they say. Well, one of the things I wanted to be intentional about in the year 2020 was my dating life (Let's not pretend, I did not have one) but then just when I thought to be more serious, COVID happened. At least no one can say I did not try 😼or did I? Well after so many targeted ads on TV throughout summer about all the different dating apps out there, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give it the old college try. 

Step 1: I downloaded two different dating apps 

Step 2: I forgot all about the app until one late weekend after a romantic movie

Step 3: Worked on my profile and indicated all the things that were important to me [Faith ✙, honesty, communication, all the good stuff]

Step 4: Wait for love to fall into my lap 💏

As I started this journey into the old yet new technology, I realized that love will not just fall into my lap, I had to be an active participant in the process. In my case that included swiping right or left. 

The online dating platform gave me a lot of choices, one that I appreciated but sometimes felt overwhelming. After so many left swipes I realized that online dating might not be my cup of tea [Either that or I was not doing it right]. 

Online dating helped me understand the things that I cherished more at this stage in my journey [Communication and Consistency] and the things I needed to work on [ Communication] to ensure my partner does not feel shortchanged. I take a jab at my social communication skills because most of my established connections like 'Greg who loves his dog' fell off due to my inability to keep up with communication especially via calls 

All in all, this was a wonderful trial but not one I think is lucrative for me, does this mean you should not give it a try? NO!!

Different strokes for different folks, I have heard of a sizable amount of people who found love on dating apps but we must also realize that a dating app is not a magic wand [Which seems to be what I treated it as]. 

Instead, it is a platform for you to rapidly meet a lot of people and the onus falls on you to put in the work which includes shooting your shot, starting and maintaining communication, and DO NOT string someone along if you know that is not a connection you desire to nurture. 

Instead of going into detail about my experience with online dating, I will instead list my take-aways so far:

• No one is perfect and although we all have our wants they do not necessarily translate to our needs. 
• Yes, actions speak louder than words but when meeting someone for the first time, your words hold more weight. 
• Do not be scared to let your intentions known, this single act ensures that no one wastes their time or gets hurt. If all you want is a "Netflix and Chill mate", do not pretend that you want more just because he/she says they do 
• Do not ghost, be an adult and communicate about why they are not a good fit 
• Even if they just look like images on a screen, they are human so treat them no less than