pinterest
Hi guys,
Welcome to another glorious week with your lady [MOI]. 😂 I just wanted to try out a corny intro.
You have a gorgeous smile, you are so understanding, you have it all together; well these are all comments I have heard at one point or another and I am here to admit to all those whoever said this; My life is as imperfect as imperfect goes but I get why you feel otherwise.
Growing up I always had this image of a strong woman in my head, she always had her head held on high, no one saw her breakdown, she was always with a smile on her face and most importantly she was always willing to help others carry their burden even when hers was crushing. This image as toxic as it looks worked for me, I became the one person who no matter how bad you hurt me I understood, I rarely broke down, I smiled through it all with the hopes that my smile will somehow deceive my pain and troubles to go away oh I was so wrong.
I found myself sometimes just staring into space completely numb and I constantly felt overwhelmed but never could point out why there were days when all I could do was cry and I just never wanted to get out of bed. At first, I thought these were signs of depression but now I know that I was simply unhappy.
Well, about two years ago my strong woman persona failed me 🙆😨. I was going through so much and felt completely defeated but rather than let others see vulnerable me or even allow myself feel my pain, I poured myself into work hoping it will chase my blues away [This will make for a good song ] but every time I got back to bed all I could feel was emptiness.
A good number of friends called, and the conversation always went this way
Friend: How are you, I haven’t heard from you?
Me: I am good, just busy
Friend: Do you need to talk?
Me: Nah, I am doing great [Then completely change the topic]
Sorry friends, I know you are reading this
Somedays I caught myself slipping and could feel my humanity trying to break through but it was only for a moment. I was drowning, yet I kept deceiving myself that I was only drifting and that I would sooner or later get to shore.
I still struggle with my idea of what a strong woman is, and I still have so much healing to do but that healing did not start until I truly made myself vulnerable. On that day my humanity finally won the battle as I ended up in a bathroom stall seating on the floor [ God bless the custodians for keeping it clean] and crying my eyes out to a friend.
So, to my fellow strong women and men, I am here to tell you that being strong does not mean you are made of stone instead, being strong is the truest vulnerability there is.
I leave you with this quote “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness” – Brené Brown
Welcome to another glorious week with your lady [MOI]. 😂 I just wanted to try out a corny intro.
You have a gorgeous smile, you are so understanding, you have it all together; well these are all comments I have heard at one point or another and I am here to admit to all those whoever said this; My life is as imperfect as imperfect goes but I get why you feel otherwise.
Growing up I always had this image of a strong woman in my head, she always had her head held on high, no one saw her breakdown, she was always with a smile on her face and most importantly she was always willing to help others carry their burden even when hers was crushing. This image as toxic as it looks worked for me, I became the one person who no matter how bad you hurt me I understood, I rarely broke down, I smiled through it all with the hopes that my smile will somehow deceive my pain and troubles to go away oh I was so wrong.
I found myself sometimes just staring into space completely numb and I constantly felt overwhelmed but never could point out why there were days when all I could do was cry and I just never wanted to get out of bed. At first, I thought these were signs of depression but now I know that I was simply unhappy.
Well, about two years ago my strong woman persona failed me 🙆😨. I was going through so much and felt completely defeated but rather than let others see vulnerable me or even allow myself feel my pain, I poured myself into work hoping it will chase my blues away [This will make for a good song ] but every time I got back to bed all I could feel was emptiness.
A good number of friends called, and the conversation always went this way
Friend: How are you, I haven’t heard from you?
Me: I am good, just busy
Friend: Do you need to talk?
Me: Nah, I am doing great [Then completely change the topic]
Sorry friends, I know you are reading this
Somedays I caught myself slipping and could feel my humanity trying to break through but it was only for a moment. I was drowning, yet I kept deceiving myself that I was only drifting and that I would sooner or later get to shore.
I still struggle with my idea of what a strong woman is, and I still have so much healing to do but that healing did not start until I truly made myself vulnerable. On that day my humanity finally won the battle as I ended up in a bathroom stall seating on the floor [ God bless the custodians for keeping it clean] and crying my eyes out to a friend.
So, to my fellow strong women and men, I am here to tell you that being strong does not mean you are made of stone instead, being strong is the truest vulnerability there is.
I leave you with this quote “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness” – Brené Brown
No comments:
Post a Comment