IDENTITY CRISES

A lot of us including myself have never imagined experiencing identity crises, I always thought my personality was set in stone but boy was I proved sooo wrong this past year. Let us start all over what exactly is identity crisis, according to Webster's New World dictionary

it is a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person's sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.

My experience this last year was no joke, it was a rather excruciating moment filled with days of realization, days of doubt, days I was ready to take on the world and other days I did not want to get out of bed. It was a whole season of silent tears but a brave face. I became unsure of myself doubting my ability to do the most elementary tasks and all these doubts creeped into every area of my life, my physical, my spiritual, and my emotional. But this period of identity crisis was my fork-road to self-realization , it was a golden opportunity for me to really look in and recognize who I was, my strengths and my weakness.
Identity crisis can sometimes be triggered by a minor change, such as seeing an hero in a different light, loss of family or friend or even an added year. Mine began with a loss, at that moment I saw myself in a different light, I saw things about myself that needed change, I saw things about others that made me question my judgement, I doubted everything that defined me and this went on for a long while.  The one sure mistake I made and would rectify if I could go back in time, is that I kept it all in and did not talk to anyone about what I was going through until one night when I decided to converse with just one person "God".
It was a drafty night and as usual I was unable to sleep, this had happened for about two weeks straight, my bible was right by my bed and I must tell you before this night I had tried several ways to talk to God but nothing felt as right as this moment when I saw my bible and remembered Psalm 139 which had helped me pull through a dark time before.
That night I knew the meaning of groaning because words could not express what I felt, I laid curled up on the floor and groaned to God and for the first time in weeks I slept. I woke up the next morning still gloomy but now I had come to a realization that I had been doing it all wrong. I sat that day and reminded myself of why I had made all my decisions up till now, what had driven me and what had kept me going. This marked the beginning of my road to self-realization, I have not completely figured it all out, I am still processing it but I know that God would in time finalize His work and I would be glad to share it all with you in more depth.
There is no one way in which identity crises develops, It can be linked to doubts about our abilities, religious beliefs, career path, societal role or even political identity. Identity crises shakes the very core of who we have defined ourselves as, but it is left to you to determine what it molds you into.

The only way in which I was able to take control of what my season of crisis would become was to go back to my roots, I went back to the reason I had made certain choices in my life like the choice of religion, my choice of career and even my choice of friends. I went back to God because as the bible passage says "My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth" - Psalm 139:15.

I hope this has encouraged you to know that you are not the only one in doubt of who you are, but you also have to realize that you can turn your moment of crisis into a wave of self-realization.