Imposter Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary (Ellen Hendriksen, 2015)
How many people experience imposter syndrome, well more than you can imagine. It is a feeling I have come to realize tends to increase the more successful you become especially if you are increasing in the ranks in an environment where you are considered different e.g. a young black woman in a field that caters to men predominantly. 
Over the past few years, I can say that with every achievement I have experienced there has always been the question at the back of my mind whispering " Am I good enough" or "was it just luck" and this question always seemed to answer itself whenever I had what I considered a failure. I have struggled with this feeling more in the past few months, being surrounded by so many brilliant people that most times I just feel like the dumbest person in the room and I constantly doubt if I can survive in this field despite continuous praise and reassurance from those around me. This feeling of inadequacy made me feel like a fraud 🙇. 

"The feeling of just not being enough "

This has led me to study more about the imposter syndrome and I have come to realize that so many people face this as it does not discriminate although minorities and women are the hardest-hit ( 😳 well, I am both).
I'll give a quick example of this. About a month ago I was scheduled to present at a lab meeting and I was so hyped at first but as the day came closer I went into panic mode thinking to myself that I was about to completely disgrace my whole generations past and future 🙆, I thought of calling out that I was sick but then my goody two shoes self decided against that and I spent the next week preparing like I was going to war. On the day of the presentation, I realized it was too late to be sick and had no choice but to forge ahead. I went into the conference room, gave my presentation and decided that I had just disgraced my whole generation until each person in the room began to validate my presentation. Funny thing is that even with all the positive reviews I still felt like they were all just patronizing me.
Well if you felt this post was to provide you with a cure, sorry to disappoint as I am still actively searching for one. Instead this post is to let you know that you are definitely not alone in this and I believe we need to start taking it easy on ourselves as in reality no one really has it all together. 
Leave a comment of the last time you felt this way, or how you have been able to overcome this feeling. I look forward to hearing back.

Song of the Month 😀:  So will I (Hillsong Worship)
https://youtu.be/GfVd5x9W1Xc