Living single

In our current reality it might seem like everyone is dating and enjoying the bliss called love but the question I ask myself sometimes is am I just looking through rose colored glasses or is it all just self pity that makes me see what isn't really there.

Yes it can be pretty hard being single especially when all you see sometimes are cute pictures of couples or epistles that couples write to themselves. It just makes you feel like can the next guy just walk by and I fall in love already but trust me that's what you don't want to do because you might just end up badly burnt and baby girl or boy those scars take a while to heal.
In this single season of mine (yes it is but a season because status would still change ), I have taken it up as a piority to work on myself, repair those nicks that could turn into huge cracks later on, build myself up spiritually and I can go on and on.
As usual I don't have all the answers as this is a path I just began a while ago and I hope to find what I deserve at the long run with God on my side, you might ask so what is the purpose of all my story it's just to let you know wherever you are or whomever you might be that you are not alone everyone at one point faces the single season. My advise is this ENJOY your single season, get to know you,make some changes, start that project you've been putting off and lastly love that creature that is you entirely. If while doing this you fall in love and you are ready by all means go for it and enjoy every second.

For me I'm about to enjoy my winter season (single) with my teddy bears, cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows, hangouts with friends, maybe join a gym (hopefully) and as you know read a lot of books.
Love you guys even though I don't know when next I'll be back here but stay tuned

Years in Life or Life in Years

       Today’s post reminds me of a bible passage that says “With long life I will satisfy thee …” (Psalm 91:16). What exactly does this mean? Long life, does this mean a promise of living up to a thousand years; if yes why do the young die, why do the Godly get bereaved these are questions that cross our mind. I recently read about a Christian woman who was martyred while preaching the word of God does this mean that a promise was broken or that she was not godly enough; I am here to tell you it means neither.

      If I take a survey asking how many years you want to live on earth about 70% of my readers would want to live above the age of 80 because they feel at that point they shall be fulfilled, at that point their dreams must have come to pass just as daily we all ponder on that next step we desire to take, that next action or that next achievement we are pushing towards so also do those people who die on a daily basis make plans. Does this mean we stop making plans and just go with the flow?

I have left two great questions unanswered but with time I hope to clarify it all with my basic knowledge and understanding.

      A lot of us choose to live to our 100’s (Including myself) but have you ever pondered that why do some people live to that age but still remain unfulfilled but yet some people die as early as their 20’s but have left their mark in the world. One must aspire not just to have years in their life but to have life in their years. I recently lost a friend, a very devoted young man with a lot of dreams and aspirations, most of which he had begun. Although most people might view it that he had not reached his peak, it became clear to me that he had enough life in his years no matter how short those years were. He was able to make a difference, he had his spot even if it was not on the Hollywood walk of fame, it was all but stamped in the hearts of those who met him. Whereas some live as long as long can be and never have a fraction of this impact. Why you might ask, the difference between these two persons is purpose.

https://www.google.com/purpose

     Purpose is that which we are to attain in life, that which we are selected for. Do not misquote me based on the above placed scenarios that the younger you die, the more likely that your purpose has been fulfilled no this is not my stand. In days of old several people lived long while still achieving their purpose and making their mark, they had the opportunity of having both years in their life and life in their years. What makes then so different from now is the mindset and characters the new generation have formed. Nowadays, we all tend to just go with the flow, never taking time to actually search and discover our purpose in life; you might tell me but I have aspirations, yes that I know, but are those aspirations your real purpose. I might aspire to be some business personnel on wall street but If that is not my purpose regardless of the perks I receive, satisfaction would always elude me; that is me missing out on the important concept of life in your years.

    

 I know your next question would be, how do I separate my purpose from my aspirations?

• Aspirations could be selfish but your purpose is always selfless, it being selfless does not mean you live like a pauper. No, it simply means that the mindset behind your actions is not to add to you but to make a desirable difference.
• Aspirations may bring about dissatisfaction but your purpose always brings about satisfaction.

How do you discover your purpose?

• Discovering your purpose is not a slam bang kind of operation, it is a process that requires you to seek the face of God (Yes, you know I can never leave Him out of my equation), asking that for what reason did He take such time to mold you and like my favorite Bible passage says “For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb (psalm 139:13)”.

     Your journey to fulfilling your purpose is not paved all through with gold, it would bring about some difficulties but the wonderful thing is that all such difficulties would be surpassed.

Backing up to my earlier bible passage (Psalm 91:16), it reveals that we would fill out the measure of our days, and whether we die young or old we would be satisfied with life enough to be ready to leave it because we have achieved all that is needed of us without any other quota to be filled.

My question to you is this are YOU just adding years to your life or are you making sure to add life to your years?

We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;
In feelings, not in figures on a dial.
We should count time by heart throbs.
He most lives who thinks most, feels noblest, acts the best.
Philip James Bailey

Seeing Beyond the Pain

    Hi everyone, i know it has been a long while since i posted but thankfully i am back. I had a lot of drafts put up but after going through them all, they just did not seem right and i had little or no time to get back to the drawing board before now. I missed you all and the opportunity to interact on this wonderful platform.

     Today's topic is one that has been brewing in my mind (since i decided on a title) but because of how close to home it hit over the past week, i have not been able to gather the strength to begin till now. One of the most important feature in our body is our sight, it acts as a light to the entire being, it shows us reality but unfortunately we are unable to use our sight to look away from hurt.
      At one point in our life we each have experienced pain of different forms, it might be pain over a breakup, disappointment, death, illness, or just hitting your leg at the edge of a table(Ouch!!). Physical pain has always been much easier to treat or manage but that heart shattering emotional pain has no definite method of treatment and this has led to a lot of people to drown in its oceans of despair, losing themselves and never getting out of their self-assigned asylum. I am not here to give you a step by step instruction or a list of things that you should expect when grieving as postulated by the psychiatrist Elisabeth KÜbler–Ross who presented the five stages of grief namely: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance because if you have experienced pain you would realize that these steps do not always hold up.

Therefore, what should one really expect, I am here to say I do not know (Shocking) because who am I to tell a mother who loses a child, or a spouse who discovers their partner of many years isn’t who they thought they were, or a friend who is betrayed or even a person who always fails at every turn, who am I to tell them what to feel or expect as it is not science or a math problem that can be solved and dismissed.

            You might be wondering, what exactly are you here to do? I am only here to tell you things that have been a form of solace to me and assure you that no matter the storm or grief there is a way to see beyond its overwhelming hurt and find peace.

            When we are hit by a form of grief, our defense mechanisms come into play they try to make us isolate ourselves and push others away; We choose this isolation over being comforted because we do not want to relieve our pain many times over but this is a wrong way to handle pain. Isolation leaves you more vulnerable, pushes you deeper into sorrow and might end up in depression. Therefore, no matter how hard it might seem, yes you can take a day off from the outside world but don’t make it a habit. Find someone to talk to, a friend, a colleague, a parent, a sibling just someone and sometimes it is even better to talk to someone going through the same pain or someone who has once been in your shoes, this way you both can act as comforters to one another.

            Cry!!! Yes, I really said that, we all always want to seem strong especially in our times of travails but by bottling it all up we really do more harm than good. Tears never make us seem weak, they are a very healthy way to relieve pain not just the physical ones but also the heartaches. I am proud to say I have shed a lot of tears even for things others might find to be minor but guess what I shed them, they did not miraculously make everything fine (not by a long shot) but I felt peace as I shed them, not because I thought at the end all would be well most times the issue still remained but that has not stopped me from shedding tears. So I implore you do not bottle all those hurt in, let them out because making them compound is very dangerous because those emotions you think little or nothing of have led a lot of people to the brink of suicide.

            Beyond the pain: This entails you cherishing the good memories, the greater purpose, a way of improvement and a way to grow. Due to the intensity of pain that we face most of the times our sight only lets us see what is wrong, or what hurt us and blocks out all that was right. My first reaction to a loss the past week was to imagine several ways it could have been prevented but the problem with this method was that it kept bringing me back to the pain, it kept hurting all over again till I began to remember all that was right, the laughter, the jokes, and the faith I gained. All these positives came from what others might regard as a negative. By doing this I began to appreciate more, not brood more; No this did not make the situation seem less painful but it did let me come to accept it.

            Finally, the healing, I would be taking this scripturally and keep me out because I am yet to attain this. Healing does not have a standard time, people heal at different rates and in different ways and no healing does not necessarily depend on how close you are to the situation. The greatest advice I could ever give you is this: Do not rush through the healing process, because rushing through (Pause! take a moment to imagine someone rushing through a bowl of cold ice-cream - Yikes) might cause more damage than good.

In this moment, where I am going through my own pain I have chosen to turn to God as my source of healing because “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds – psalm 147:3”.

As I said seeing beyond the pain is not something that comes with a manual, it has no definitive steps because we all are unique therefore what works for me does not necessarily bring a permanent solution to you but it can serve as a form of solace that you are not alone and that this pain is not the end of all things good.

   I dedicate this blog post to a friend that looked good always, because he always smiled and made everyone feel accepted and loved. Some say it was too soon but I choose to accept that it was a chosen time because you were born to bring faith and fulfillment for such a time as this. See you in Glory Love (Emmanuel Oluwaseun Ojo).

   I leave you all with this verse that has served as my personal solace for the past week; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

" To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: 

A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance”